This is for the not-yet-a-mum-but-born-to-be-one women who have been counting down the days to meet their first born for as long as they can remember but are not yet pregnant. I know the thought of pregnancy terrifies you and any mention of giving birth has you crossing those legs tight as hell doesn’t it? I know so many of you and I have some information for you.
I decided, last Thursday night, while out to dinner with my girls and knee deep in birth stories that it is high time that someone speaks for the beautiful parts. The incredible, no-words-for moments, that are all apart of the process of getting baby from belly to world.
Birthing a small human with a deceivingly large head out of your fan is obviously not the most comfortable feeling in the world but to be honest, IT ISN’T THAT BAD. In fact, it is all kinds of beautiful. Of course it is painful, but the trade-off is more than worth it. You built a whole human, elbows and brain matter people! How bloody clever are you! I bet you never thought you would read the word beautiful in a sentence that also included the words vagina and head, hang in there.
All you hear about is how horribly painful giving birth is, how horrific pregnancy can be and how hard having a newborn is so I just wanted to tell you that it is actually NOT THAT BAD. The positive parts, like the squeaky sounds your newborn makes as he nuzzles into you boob for the first time all slimy and warm, far outweigh the negatives like the back pain that accompanies carrying said baby around in your tum for 9 months. Yes sometimes having a newborn sucks, the whole no sleep and having to put clothes on each day to entertain visitors thing is shitty, BUT LOOK HOW CUUUTE HE IIIIS! oh and it gets easier, people bring you freezer dinners and gifts and you get to eat like a ravenous pig which you can blow off with a cute ‘breastfeeding makes me so hungry’ comment and everyone nods in acceptance.
Another cool part is; when you first find out that your body is building a little human, a human that is half you and half someone you completely adore, whether it hits straight away or a few weeks after that double line appeared before you, the whole thing completely blows your mind. I remember with my first born I was alone in our apartment I had done a pregnancy test and instantly my body surged with tingles, they flowed through my entire body and wrapped themselves around this new little blip in my tummy. I swear I could feel it. I cried and cried and cried with this feeling, I still don’t know how to explain it. It was the most incredible, intense feeling. Instant love. Heart warming, soul shifting love for this little tingle in my tummy.
Then at about 18 weeks you feel your baby moving around in there and holy shit does it become all kinds of real. With my first I didn’t know what it was because it was a really strange butterfly, clicky feeling. I don’t know why but I didn’t connect the two, I just never had the thought ‘oh the baby moved’. It continued happening and took me weeks to understand what was going on. I explained it to my midwife at the 20 week appointment and when she said ‘oh good so you have started feeling some movements’ that sentence hit me like a bloody train. I bust into psycho pregnant lady tears and bawled it out for solid 10 minutes. MY BABY IS MOVING! How frigging clever. This realisation connected me like nothing else to the little person inside my tummy.
Truthfully pregnancy gets crappy toward the end. The uncomfortable-ness and insomnia but you have heard all of those parts. What you may not know is that towards the end, when baby is big, you can actually SEE her moving. Elbows and bottoms poking up. My baby girl used to poke her bottom out the side of my tummy, it was the strangest of feelings, like she was going to poke through and climb on out herself (I wish). My son would often push up on the inside of my tummy with his feet. You can really see hands and feet! It is truly incredible. The realisation that your baby is soothed by the sound of your heart-beat and the sway of your walk, no words.
Okay lets go there. Labor. It is bloody painful I would never discount that for my fellow Mamas. With my first contraction I had I instantly power-chucked in response to the pain. Yep the glory. But the feeling of knowing you are literally about to meet the love of your life is the most exciting and wonderful thing I have ever felt. Then there is the zone you go into to get through the birth. I wish someone told me about this. There is this point in labor that you literally focus your entire body and mind on pushing through and delivering bub, in those few minutes you could conquer the world. You could also kill anyone who breaks your zen but I am not even sure it would be possible to break it. Giving birth to this baby becomes a challenge accepted, bring it on! Then seconds later there he or she is. Plain as day in your arms, your whole heart and world in your arms, by this time your mind has already left what you have just been through and is completely and utterly on your new baby. So the entire process is over. You are no longer a pregnant lady and now a fully fledged legit MUM! and you would do it a million trillion times over if you had to just to hold this little human.