11 Examples of How My toddler is a Tiny Emotionally Unstable Adult.

Max just came in bawling. He told me that Percy had hurt his finger. Yes Percy his tiny wooden train. Apparently Percy bit him. So as you do, I told Percy off and put him for time out on the tele cabinet. (I’m probably an enabler)
Anyway this got me thinking about all the things that Max, at 2.5 years of age, comes up with and I realised that he is basically a tiny, mentally unstable, probably drunk, adult.

Its probably not ‘recommended’ to tell your two and a half year old that he is being crazy but that’s not why I don’t. I go along with his craziness because its frigging adorable and I love the stuff he comes up with.

Here is a roundup of the latest, crazy, drunk person stuff he says/does;

‘When I am a big man like Daddy I will have my own car and my own phone and I can watch Thomas on my phone at work like Daddy’. (read to yourself in monosyllabic toddler talk) too cute – he totally understands what the corporate world is like (sitting a computer, headset on, pretending to be busy,  talking footy with your brother)

He decided that he doesn’t need to pull his pants down to do wee’s because the wee goes through anyway ‘look! its aalwight mum-mum’. Fair enough.

Being intensely headstrong, he wont allow help resulting in situations like; he can’t (or can’t be bothered) pulling his pants back up over his bottom so continues playing, all dimply bottom pushed up out the top of his jeans like a mini, dimply, adorable, cleavage.

He tells me he had a bath ‘last morning’ so doesn’t need one today. Obviously MUM.

‘Muuuum the floor hurt me’.  because the floor hurt him.

He told me this morning that we should wear our Pajamas to do the food shopping because ‘they are red like James’, Good point well made babe.

HE Orders a ‘latte plooiiise’ from the lady at the cafe (no we don’t feed our child coffee) and then hops up once he has had his marshmallow to help himself to another.

He occasionally eats mayo. Just plain mayo. Its almost a food group in our house.

Finds it hilarious when people fall over or someone/some train falls over/comes off the track (if you haven’t picked up – we are big time train people. Really big time.)

He regularly rolls over in his sleep and whacks one of in the face. Usually Dad and its bloody hilarious. I could swear its intentional –  who swings their arms about in their sleep!?

Loves to scream a blood-curdling ‘HEEEELLLLLPPP’ at the most insignificant things. like his train rolled under the couch for the 25th time.
He probably just loves watching me come pummeling through the door panicking that he has his finger stuck in the drawer again (or his leg under the couch but don’t ask about that one – I don’t even know)

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