Yep. there it is. the naked truth. it feel’s weird to share that because I am so ashamed of it. But I do, I bribe him daily. And I shouldnt be ashamed. Its that or yell and get upset and punish behavior that I feel is completely normal.
My fiance and I have a running joke. It started one day when Max wouldn’t get in the car. He occasionally throws these mighty tantrums that I swear no one would believe if they didn’t see! He screams at the top of his lungs while thrashing about so violently, and they are always over something crazy like eating lunch, or he wants to play with mums phone or doesn’t want to get in the car. I don’t think Jake had seen one before, he went to put max in the car and I just watched, I have never seen Jake so mad and frustrated before all while he was awkwardly laughing like he couldn’t quite believe the situation. Max was so confused. Anyway Jake yelled at me, “how the f#*k do you get him in!?” and I replied “I threaten him” It was a poor choice of words. he looked at me in absolute horror and we both just lost it, we couldn’t stop laughing and eventually Max went quiet and was looking at us like we were crazy people.We probably are. What I meant was, I bribe him with something, for example “Max if you hop in the car now, when we are at the shops you can choose a new train”. Yes go on, I know, You think I am practically rewarding horrid behavior, I have heard it all before. I am actually rewarding the good part of the horrid behavior, the part were he gets in the car and we leave the house with our sanity intact.
Anyway every time we are at an absolute loss we say ‘threaten him’ so at least we can have a chuckle together and lower the stress levels.
But the truth is, I use bribery everyday. I am told its the wrong thing to do because apparently kids are just supposed to do what you say because your their parent, I don’t know in who’s household it actually works like that in, but in ours, we are NOT in anyway in control of our child’s behavior. Should we be? God knows what we are doing so differently.
Join the movement today. ( jst jks. but srsly)